YIPPEE for 33!!!

Happy 33 weeks you little Wild Things!  I never thought we would make it this far!  In fact I don’t think anyone did!  LOL!  My family and closest friends started a baby pool when I first got in here, just to help me pass the time and give me a reason to get excited for the next day…well out of 21 people only three are still in the running! One of which is me who choose tomorrow; not that I ever thought we would make it this far but I wanted to be hopeful! Even Dr. Fitzwater (one of my favorites) once said I wouldn’t make it past 32.  On his last visit he told me that not many people make him eat his words but I sure did.  All proof that miracles do happen; God is good, all the time God is good!

We’ve had good news and not so good news this week.  My platelet count is even a little lower than last (but not over concerning yet).  They will keep an eye on it on hope it goes back up by itself.  If it doesn’t it could be a situation that keeps me from going home and if it’s still low at delivery time could lead to a blood transfusion or being knocked completely out instead of a spinal tap or epidural.  Kimber’s Doppler number is still slightly elevated, but is good that it hasn’t gone from slightly elevated to abnormally elevated; another thing they will just continue to keep an extra eye on and could keep me from going home.  On a much happier note they measured and guessed the weight of the babies this week and both are weighing in right around 4 pounds each! 

So proud of our tough little Wild Things and amazed at how loved they already are by so many! 

Wahoo for 32!!!

I got so tied up in the excitement of the weekend and my many guest that I forgot to celebrate 32 with you!  Happy 32 Weeks my little WildThings!  A huge milestone for lung development and brain development!

I am now actually 32weeks & 5days!! Lots of things have already happened this week and lots of things left on the agenda.  Monday was another wild and crazy day.  I had some normal pregnancy issues (so they tell me) that are TMI for the whole world to read about, but did lead to extra test and extra evaluations.  They did a platelet count that showed my numbers are down; one of those things that isn’t a big deal yet but need to keep an extra eye on it.  We also had a regular sonogram done to check movement, heart beats, Doppler readings, livers, etc.  Everything looked great and babies are practicing breathing more and more, but Kimber’s Doppler number was slightly elevated, again one of those things they just keep an eye on. 

Tomorrow is another big day!  They will do a more intensive sonogram to check the normal things plus measure and weigh my little ones.  I FEEL like they have doubled in size, but I’m hoping for a pound a piece; which would take them to 4 pounds each!  They will also check my platelet count again. 

We have a new game plan: if I get to 34 weeks and am not dilated to certain point and babies still look great then I will be released to go home and start seeing my own doctor again.  Cole and I both had mixed emotions of this in the beginning.  We have become comfortable and confident in the care we have received and the caregivers who provided it.  On the other hand I am SO ready to see my fur babies, sleep in my own bed, and of course have babies in a hospital closer to home!  I’m sure it will be an emotional day, but for now we celebrate 32!  What is meant to be will be!

a weekend for the books!...

As previously written I was kind of bummed I was missing out on a few key events this weekend, so I am surprised to say the weekend is one that will go down in the books as a great time! 

Dad came down Friday night; he looked like a pack mule from all the snacks he brought me.  We spent all day Saturday watching college football and munching on my buffet of snacks.  The Aggies didn’t have a great game but not going to hate on them; I bleed maroon win or lose!  Then Dad got to take me for a wheelchair ride outside!  The first time I saw the sun (and anything outside the four walls of my hospital room!) in over a month!  The sunlight was almost overwhelming but well worth the squints!  Cole did a good job of sending me pictures and updates during Weldon & Alyson’s’ wedding reception and even said he wished I was there to dance with! 

Sunday was a day of great company.  Tiffany and Marshall (some college friends I hadn’t seen in years) stopped by on their way home from the wedding.  It was great catching up and seeing her baby pooch.  I remember when I was that small.  Clay and Violet stopped by on their way back from College Station and Mom, Wade, and Cole spent all afternoon with me.  Cole surprised me with a ROCK’N new pair of shoes (he knows the way to my heart)!  AND I got them on and tied all by myself!  Mom, Wade, Cole, and I ate a real meal, meaning no hospital food (steak, broccoli, and mashed potatoes to be exact!) at a real table!  Then they took me for another visit outside!   

As you can tell I had a great weekend for a number of reasons!  Another example of how I couldn’t do all this without my team and cheerleaders!

A Rollercoaster...

I’ve had a long week. Things are getting harder and harder.  I didn’t expect it any other way, just surprised how many mixed emotions I’m having at this point.  This past weekend I had “false” labor all day  Sunday.  “False” meaning I had contractions I could feel every 2-3 minutes but nothing that caused any other reactions.  Cole said I shouldn’t get so excited about college football on Saturday (man there were some good games on!).  Things have gotten much more uncomfortable over all.  Kimber keeps a foot in my ribs that make it hard to breath, and my indigestion is out of this world, even though I’ve cut back to PB&J sandwiches, applesauce, blueberry muffins, and cereal.  You know it’s bad when Cole offered to bring me Taco Bell (my fave) and I said heck no!

Plus this weekend holds many things I would be doing if not in here.  My mom turns 50 and even though she says all she wants is two healthy grandbabies I wish there was more I could do for her instead of her do for me.  Weldon and Alyson are getting married; they aren’t just good friends but family!  The kind of couple it’s healthy to hang out with because they truly care.  My sister and Paul are making the move from Houston to San Antonio and a wolf pack member has lost a grandpa with the funeral being this weekend.  So many people that have helped me and so many places I’d like to be to let them know I care…all while trying to stay positive about being in here. 

Today is when I almost lost it.  I couldn’t sleep last night and had a repeat of this weekend: contractions every 2-3 minutes which caused me to be hooked to monitors for hours to keep an eye on things plus multiple people in and out talking about what they would try to do IF it was full blown labor.  Thank goodness for Cole.  I had a mild breakdown and told him I was just ready for it to be over and that I was feeling guilty for wanting it.  He reminded me that “over” wouldn’t really mean “over” just different; a different reason for being at the hospital and a different type of worry.  He also reminded me that I could do it.  On top of being there emotionally he surprised me with a visit!  Even brought me a lunchable and chocolate milk! The only two things I’ve been craving!....other than a haircut and to see my pups.  Thanks Cole for being there…AGAIN.  

Feeling much better after writing this, even though I’m sitting here tearing up I know they are happy tears.  Bring on the weekend!

A Success Story

I know I just posted but today marks another big day! I wouldn’t call it a milestone and for sure not calling it a celebration more of a success story! Today marks exactly one month of Austin hospital living.  Success because I haven’t had babies and haven’t gone crazy!  In fact, many successes have come from this roller coaster kind of month!  I have become a stronger person: I made it through my week of break downs, I stopped crying every time Cole has to leave, and I’ve enjoyed my alone time (trust me this was a big step for me).  I’ve become a stronger Christian: I’ve been reminded of the important things in life, that everything happens for a reason, and the power of prayer.  And I’ve (we’ve) built a stronger marriage: this month has put a strain on our relationship in many ways but through it all we’ve proven our love and dedication to each other and to our new coming family.  Success story?  I would say so. 

little people BIG attitutes at 31 weeks!

Happy 31 week our little WildThings!  A few weeks ago this day seemed so farfetched!  I’ve learned so much about myself along the way and I’m proud to say I’m stronger than I ever imagined. 

Our children have been named the “WILDTHINGS” by some family and myself.  They move nonstop and have to be “seat belted” in for monitoring for different reasons.  No matter what nurse it is she leaves with for fingers crossed and says we will see how long they last today.  Cole wonders how we will control them out here if they are out of control in there?  They make me laugh.

My mom always said that no matter what we named them they would soon make their name “fit” their personality.  She was exactly right.  We are now 31 weeks to the day and have two totally different temperamental babies it seems. 

Camden tends to be laid back but sneaky.  It usually takes him longer to do his checkups and monitoring because he is on his own schedule; during checkups he’ll show a breath then take a nap, show a movement then take a nap… nurse Lily says boys are just lazier from the get go!  Nurse Kesa nick named him “Pooter Head” because he likes to hide from the monitor (usually behind my left hip bone).  He also likes messing up his tracing by sucking on his cord or having nonstop hic-ups or taking his time to show his accelerations! But man when he is on the move he is on a roller coaster!  They say he is using my cervix like a trampoline and I believe it; every once in awhile he takes my breath away.   

Kimber on the other hand is a tad prissy a tad sassy and loves attention.  She always seems to be posing for the camera in the sonograms and starts kicking or moving over when we try to take pictures of her brother.  She loves to get off the monitors by dancing over to a totally new location or kicking at the monitor which makes an offal loud sound just so the nurse has to come back and reposition her.  She usually does her acceleration in record time and goes above and beyond in her sonogram checks…as long as you ask her nicely.  I think her daddy is going to have his hands full!

 

They already share the special bond of brother and sister. 

The Fights: Early this week in the middle of a sonogram Camden reached over slapped Kimber on the forehead!  She wasn’t going to have it.  She then put her foot over her head a kicked him!  Ms. Ashley, the sono tech, and myself were hysterical, we had witnessed the whole thing!  A few nights later, while being monitored, Camden had the hic-ups (again) and I guess Kimber got tired of listening to him because after a few kicks from her direction he stopped.   

The LOVE: Sometimes their heartbeats are exactly the same so the nurses have to sit and wait to make sure we are picking up two different babies.  We have also captured one of their most loving moments on camera; a picture of them head to head with him kissing her on the forehead. 

Sooner or later we will get to meet our little Wildthings and see if their attitudes hold through.  No matter what we will love them forever and always. 

The Name Game

This post is dedicated to the names of the little ones we already love so much.  When we first found out we were pregnant Cole (like any man) wanted boys.  He envisioned them playing football together; one quarterback one receiver, a non stoppable team. I said I didn’t care but secretly wanted girls.  I think I knew that two girls were the only way I might ever get Cole to attempt a third child and since I have a sister and a brother, whom I cherish, I thought three was the perfect number.  All this said healthy babies were more important to us than gender and we knew no matter what we would love them unconditionally. 

Cole quickly started the name game.  I never knew if he was serious or joking!  If you know Cole his main objective was probably to make me laugh or see how fast he could get my blood boiling!  He started with Waylon and Willie.  It made perfect sense to him since we had gotten married in Luckenbach TX.  He often sang the very popular country and western song.  He then moved on to Rocky and Rudy after two of his favorite movies.  He thought it would be cool for them to have their own theme songs and again sang them often.  I can’t tell you how many times we watched these movies!    

Camden at 30 weeks



Kimberlyn at 30 weeks



After finding out we had the best of both worlds: one boy one girl we started a name list.  Any name that neither of us totally hated went on the list.  Being a teacher it was hard to hear a name without associating it to a child I had had in class.  Most of Cole’s names had something to do with guns or hunting and most of my names had to do with Texas towns or rivers.  We always seemed to go back to the C or K names.  After making a list and checking it twice we came up with Camden Rock Cantwell and Kimberlyn Dawn Cantwell (neither of which I had had in school!).  We both agreed to Camden pretty quickly and ever since I had said heck no to Rocky Cole had shortened it down to Rock; he had been calling his baby boy Rock for months now and it just seemed wrong to change it.  Cole actually came up with Kimber all by himself (of course it is the name of some gun) but I wasn’t completely sold on it.  After watching the college track finals on ESPN and hearing the name Kimberlyn I was in love.  My mom, dad, sister, and myself all have the middle name Lynn and we could call her Kimber for short.  Dawn is the girly spelling of Don my Granddad, an amazing man who loss his battle to cancer when I was in high school. 



Better Days Ahead

“I’m sucking on the bitter to get to the sweet part, I know there are better days ahead.” 

The theme song of my past week is Lemon Drop by Pistol Annies. 

It’s getting harder and harder to be my normal bubbly self while in a hospital.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not falling apart! Not to anyone but my husband and the occasional nurse.  Cole tends to get the worst of it.  I cry every time he has to leave and even when we talk on the phone.  This isn’t what pregnancy looked like in my head.  I thought I would be home bonding with my husband, having baby showers, setting up the nursery, and nesting. I still know I’m in the right place for the rights reasons I just miss home.  I miss my dogs and my “normal” life.  Not that my life will ever be the same as it was before my hospital days! J J

It hasn’t been harder on me just me either; it’s been harder on many.  It’s harder on Cole who dislikes seeing me hurting while not being able to do anything about it and hasn’t been able to come see me as much due to extra hours at the gym.  It’s been harder on my mom and sister who had spent so many hours of the day with me and now feel helpless from so many miles away.  All in all it’s just been harder.

While emotions run high good news does too!  We are now 30 weeks and going strong!  Cole and I took a tour of the NICU and it wasn’t near as scary or depressing as I thought it would be.  The visit made me feel much more confident about what’s to come.  At our growth check this week babies were up to 3 lbs a piece!  Seems so small but are right on schedule.  I am taking meds every four hours to keep my uterus calm but it seems to be working.  On top of all that I am currently IV free (the first time in almost a month!).  Dr. Fitzwater says as long as I mind my manors I can stay that way. 

Favorite memory of this week was my school baby shower.  It couldn’t have happened without my buddy Leanne who got a group of host together, set it all up, shared photos, and even made me a list of gifts (if only I could get her to write my thank you cards).  Looking at the pictures of course made me tear up.  Leanne made me into “flat Stanley” and took me around school and to various other places.  Definitely made me laugh!

the RIGHT place for the RIGHT reason

After I was stable I was moved from Labor & Delivery back down to Ante Partum.  This time I felt much better about the move. Courtney and Ben spent every day with me for a very long time.  Ben was great entertainment.  He flirted with every nurse and practiced rocking on all fours like he was going to crawl at any moment.  Cole spent about every other night with me due to late nights and early morning.  Plus someone had to be home to sleep with the puppers and maintain the house hold!

During this time I became a sports fanatic!  I don’t know if it was because I was that bored or if it made me feel like I was home with my hubby.  I found myself watching Sports Center and ESPN most of the day: football, baseball, tennis, even the occasional golf!  Two specific sports memories made these weeks.  The first was watching the little league world series championship game with Mom, Wade, and Dad.  Mrs. Alice, my cleaning lady, nick-named my family “the rowdy crowd” that weekend and still refers to them as that every time I see her.  The nick-name has flown over to doctors and nurses.  The second, was sharing my hospital bed with Cole to watch football.  We hadn’t had much alone time by this point and had definitely been missing out on snuggle time!  I don’t remember who won or even who was playing I just remember being happy.

I was in good spirits.  I knew exactly why I was here and that it was the right place.  I spent most of my alone time on facebook or texting.  The power of prayer amazed me! We had been added to prayer list by people who didn’t even know us directly, but through people that cared about us and that they cared about.  Reading all the positive post from friends, family, and complete strangers kept me smiling and kept me strong.  Even the doctors talked about what an amazing support system I had.  And they were right! We are loved by so many people and so blessed to have every one of them!

Visitors these weeks were: Leanne, Amanda, Weldon & Alyson, Hammy, Nancy, Courtney & Ben, Cole, the “rowdy” crowd, Aunt Terrye, Claire, The Parkers via gift basket, and Mrs. Beth via gift basket.      

The Bed, The Bad, The Blur......

After two weeks of being on home bed rest we had another doctor visit.  An even shorter cervix landed us an appointment in Austin with a specialist who had more experience with premature labor and our options which landed us at ST. David’s Medical Center in North Austin in Labor and Delivery unit (now almost 27 weeks).  The next three days are a total blur!  I had another two magnesium bags, two steroid shots, a latex reaction, and was on a clear liquid diet just in case we had to deliver.  Between Mom, Dad, Bill & Nancy, and Courtney & Ben my days were never lonely along with Cole who spent most days and every night with me.    

At this point things started looking up…so we thought.  I was off magnesium and had been steady for quite some time.  They felt comfortable moving me down to anti-partum which meant they didn’t think I would be delivering any time soon.  Cole left around 4:30am to get to work (which of course made me cry) and my day took a turn for the worse!  It seemed harder to breathe than normal; granted I had been lying on my back for 20 days now and I did have two little people squishing my lungs, but asked to see my doctor anyway.  Before I knew what was going on I was on oxygen, had an AGI, a chest x-ray, and was getting wheeled down for a CAT scan to check for blood clots.  I was afraid!  Afraid of what was going to happen to me!  Afraid of what was going to happen to my babies!  

Given the circumstances, the final diagnosis was probably the best we could have asked for.  The magnesium had caused liquid on my lungs.  By this time I was back in Labor and Deliver and my feet were swollen and squishy. I was still on oxygen and now on lasics (like they do race horses) to get rid of all the liquid.  (You understand why there aren’t any pictures to share of this time! Not my best days!)  The next few days were hard, but each one had a little celebration: off oxygen, no more catheter, real food, sponge bath.  Which graduated to bigger celebrations: potty by myself, a REAL shower.

I had many visitors come as well: Amanda, Kyra & Whyatt, Cody & Leanne, Hammy & Violet, Chance & Valery, Tina & Susan, Billy Dale & Pam, Dana & Elizabeth, Julie & Bailey, Memaw & Oltea.  And of course the usual Team: Cole, Mom, Dad, Court, Ben, Nancy, and Bill

there were six in the bed and the little one said...

The next few months seemed to go by fast and as expected.  My tummy started showing which seemed to make Cole more “attached” to my pregnancy.  My favorite part was lying in bed with his hand on my belly waiting for him to feel them move.  One night I started singing “there were six in the bed and the little one said…” we were both shocked to think that in months to come we would actually have six “people” in our king size bed! 

But Soon the word BED would take on a whole new meaning!  At week 24 we went in for a regular check up and ended up in the hospital due to a much shortened cervix and contractions.  Me I cried but Cole seemed so calm and collective.  Threes days, two magnesium bags, and two steroid shots later I was released to go home but to strict bed rest, only being out of bed for 2-3 hours a day. 

My family and friends pulled through like ROCKSTARS!  Mom and Wade brought me a hospital bed for my living room so I could have a change of scenery.  Mom aka “the slave driver” stayed with me for the first few days to take care of me and time my showers!  Once she had to start school my sister Courtney and nephew Ben moved into our spare bed room to be my daytime nurses along with Nurse Hershey and Nurse Mako who didn’t leave my bed.  My dad and Cole’s parents spent weekends with us and helped get all the chores done.  My buddy Leanne took care of all school stuff and much more.  Many friends came to visit during the day and bring us dinner.  The excitement of my day was now waiting for Cole to come home!

simply AMAZED

In the beginning of March Cole and I found out that our family of four (us & 2 puppers) was going to be growing!  We were expecting!   A month later we found out not only would be adding one new addition but TWO…TWINS!  Our family of four would now be a family of six!  Anyone who knows us could have guessed our reactions: I cried, he laughed.  Of course I immediately felt totally overwhelmed, but the smile on Cole’s face was amazingly calming and hopeful to me.  I don’t think we said much the rest of the night.  Each time our eyes caught the other’s we just let out a little giggle.

  

The first few months of pregnancy were great (I say that now).  I never threw up but felt sick ALL day and was extremely tired!  I actually lost weight my first trimester just because nothing sounded good.  I think I lived off cereal, baked potatoes, and lemon drops.  It was hard getting use to not being able to do everything I was use to.  Cole and I had gotten where our “un-wine time” each night was spent in the hot tub talking about our day and most weekends were spent relaxing in the river.  Both things I was no longer allowed to do.  Not only was I getting use to not being able to do everything I wanted, but so was Cole.  It was hard for him to understand why I couldn’t go for a motorcycle ride or compete in bumper cars with him.  I think it all became more meaningful the first time we heard the heartbeats.  Of course I cried…I think more because of the excitement on Cole’s face than anything.  By the end of the visit he wasn’t even in his chair, he was up at the screen pointing out different things in the sonogram.  I knew at that moment he was going to be a great daddy who would amaze me often. 

Our Love Story

By the time Cole and I got married on June 7, 2008 we thought we had made it through every stage possible: high school sweet-hearts, long distance phone callers, college crazies, real life lovers.  Although we were young we had helped each other through many hard times; from divorced parents to lost loved ones, and had so many good times together I wouldn't know where to start!  Needless to say I married my BEST FRIEND!  We are exactly the same in many ways and complete opposites in others.  I'm a crier, he's a laugher.  I'm a fairytale dreamer, he's realistic.  I'm a planner, he's last minute.  I'm a saver; he's a spender.  Sometimes things aren't easy but they work!